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Does God Have Balls? A Penis?



January 2016

Here is a collection of comments answering the question, "Does God have a penis?"

Millions of people refer to God as "God the father", as "he" and "him". To be a father and a "he" and a "him" means having a penis. If God doesn't have a penis, then he is an "it".

If man was created in the image of God, does God have a penis?  What does he use it for?  If God does have a penis, and he uses it for the same thing human males do, then God must have a mother and a father. Where are they?  If he doesn't have a partner and he doesn't use his penis for sex, then maybe he uses it to urinate but what fluids is he drinking? 

Well, Michaelangelo’s famous fresco on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel shows Adam with a navel. So if he was made in God’s image … then God has a navel? So where did God’s umbilical cord attach to?

Man made god in his image....so of course he's got a penis, and a belly button, an appendix, wisdom teeth, hair on his toes and of course, an asshole. Where do you think all those meteor showers come from?

The reason God has a penis is to create the universe. In the beginning, the universe was void and empty - sort of like a donut hole. So God stuck his penis into the Void - and Behold! He came. And when he came, he came with all the swirling stars and galaxies that we can see up in the skies even still today. Now, as for what God does with his penis NOW - that is a very pressing question.

God is like a ken doll, all smooth and genital-less… but wouldn't that make him asexual or something and not a “him”?

If God doesn't have a penis, is he an " IT?"

If we are made in the “image of god” then the logical assumption would be that “god” is a hermaphrodite.

The Bible says Man was made in the image of god and woman was made from man’s rib. So, the biblical god can't be a hermaphadite.

If God does have a penis, it’s gotta be a little piggly-wiggly one. All those grand gestures like flooding the world, parting the red sea and reincarnating himself as a hippie carpenter who gets nailed to a cross makes you wonder if he’s overcompensating for something. Whether he’s cut or uncut, that’s anyone’s guess.

Most fundamentaists would take a fit over the suggestion that “god” is a hermaphrodite and would insist that only Adam, and therefore only men, were made in the image of “god”. Women are just a “lesser reflection” of the glory that is there male “god”. Then there are the fundies (fundamentalists) who don't believe their “god” would possess an organ as base and inherently sinful as a penis, because “god” is wholly incapable of penis sins.

Technically, I think only the holy ghost has a dick

Yes, God has a penis. After all, he’s the biggest dink in the universe.

The Bible is written allegorically. Not to be taken literally but symbolically. What else would the whole “rod and staff” thing be about if not about genitalia?

I can’t claim to know one way or another, but there’s one thing I can say for sure… If god has a dick, then logically there must be an equally powerful (yet hotter) goddess out there with a vagina. It’s just simple biology.

He has to have a penis. I mean he’s fucking the world isn’t he?

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