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TRUMP OR BIDEN? THE WINNER IS OBVIOUS

election

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE ELECTION

by Grace Powers

'Twas the night before the election at the President's House
Not a creature was stirring except his smokin' hot spouse
She was cursing in Slovenian over his horndog cheating
With dancers, prancers and the vixens he was meeting

In burger-stained underwear, Trump watched Fox news
Shouting at the TV, "Joe! Your gonna effin lose!"
Grabbing his acceptance speech, he practiced at dinner,
"Thanks to Q and the K's, you made me the winner."

On the White House lawn, there arose such a clatter
POTUS and FLOTUS ran to see what's the matter
"It's Schumer and Nancy flying the baby Trump float.
Those mother effin losers are stealing more votes!"

Trump stepped onto the balcony at the end of the hall
"You devil worshipping C suckers! Dash away all!"
Nancy raised her middle finger and yelled, "Is that a threat?
You're eviction notice is coming, want to make a bet?"

Joe was in his basement changing Depends, passing gas
Jill was telling reporters, "He's at church attending mass."
Hunter was in hiding, laying low and snorting blow
Watching pedo movies of himself with junior hoes

 

 
elect

At voting booths, millions flipped coins and sighed
"Who's the lesser of two evils? Who knows? Both lied."
When the polls finally closed and the votes were counted
The map turned blue and the numbers quickly mounted

CNN announced the winner. Joe flashed a masked grin
He gaffed his teleprompter speech, "Did I really win?"
When he asked, "Where am I?" Jill whisked him away
And the cameras cut to Trump to see what he'd say

Trump stood in the spotlight with his arm-candy wife
She slapped his small hand away, whispered something not nice.
Reporters yelled, "Trump! Will you concede your defeat?"
"No way!" chanted his fans as they stomped their feet.

Raising his fists, Trump announced a call to arms
"Rise up America! Let's sound the alarms!
The commies rigged the election with freedom-killing might
But SCOTUS is in my pocket, so to all a good night!"

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